people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
this will be a night to untag.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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