oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize