I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
