that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
