Please, let me fuck your mom
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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