I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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