just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
