Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
