That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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