There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
