Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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