Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
