basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
