Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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