Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize