...so i touched it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
