I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
