there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
