Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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