I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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