Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize