I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize