I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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