but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
