she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
