There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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