That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
