hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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