I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
