What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
