There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
