The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
