We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
