My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
