Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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