guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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