the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize