Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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