real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
