I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize