Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
