I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
