I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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