what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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