id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
