using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's the barista slut.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
