FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
