All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
