whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Green mimosas i think yes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize