Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
