I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
