just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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