That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
