i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
