i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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