Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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